Executive Summary: It didn't go well
Anyhow, yesterday was my do-over day. I had to be in Courtroom One at 8:30 am (Chattanooga). I got up early, then proceeded to fiddle around for so long that I left myself zero breathing room. I sat through the Entrance Ramp From Hell - I-75 South. Exit 25. It's been designated the worst designed interstate entrance ramp in America by the B.I.S.S. (Because Ian Says So), for three years running.
I drove down the interstate behind the little old lady who was on her way to, I don't know, NOWHERE FAST!!!
View from the perspective of the person she just ran over
I sped down I-75 so that I wouldn't be late to contest my speeding ticket (Don't even say a word. Don't), and got to a parking space at 8:27. I had no change for the meter!! Drat!! Luckily, I was at one that would take my debit card. I tied my tie in the car window ("winder" as we call 'em down here in real America), and went running into the courthouse, where I stood in line with my belt off and my pockets emptied. I kept beeping. I.dunno.why. Finally, they decided that I wasn't a threat and let me through. Kinda hurt my feelings. I mean, I'm an imposing accountant...never mind.
OK - I got into the courtroom at 8:40, and they were already calling peoples names - I didn't know if they'd called mine. I didn't know if I should ask. I decided to wait it out, and in a few minutes, the judge called me. Armed with a well practiced argument, I walked to the bench. Three minutes later, with very little discussion, the ticket was dismissed. I felt cheated out of my William Jennings Bryan moment (Scopes Monkey Trial, Dayton, TN - look it up), but left quickly before he could read my mind and look into my black, black soul.
I went to my car, where I DIDN'T have a parking ticket, then drove to a clients office, where I WASN'T impeded by red lights and bad drivers. Creepy, right?
Speaking of feeling cheated, do you feel cheated now that you've read this far only to realize that I had no real point when I started this, and am now out of things to say?
i really don't have time to read everything you've ever written, so i think i will pick up here and start reading from now on. and yes, that means your obligation to be entertaining just escalated immensely. don't let me down.
ReplyDeleteI shall endeavor to entertain in that case, Ace.
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