Get something to drink, make yourself comfortable. When you get back, I'll tell you about my Chevy Chase-worthy fall across my house.
Go ahead. I'll wait.
This morning, I was sitting on the couch, drinking a cup of coffee, when my dog Lynsie barked to be let back in - this is Lynsie:
Did I ever tell you how Lynsie got her name? One of the first babysitters that my daughters had was Lindsey Cooke (now Lindsey Wagner). The girls loooved her. They loved her so much that when we got a puppy, Kate wanted to name the dog after Lindsey. Kate was pretty young and didn't know how to spell Lindsey's name, and she spelled it sort of phonetically: so, Lindsey became Lynsie, and there you have it.
BUT I DIGRESS
Back to this morning. I had let Lynsie out to eat breakfast and do that other stuff that dogs do, in the back yard, in the morning. Typically, when she is finished she stands at the back door and gives an imperious bark, AND YOU'D BETTER BE QUICK ABOUT LETTING HER IN!
So, I jumped up off the couch to let her in. In the process of getting up, my enormous big toe (right foot, if you are wondering), somehow became stuck in my pajama pants leg.
Those pajamas; that toe.
I tripped and started falling close to the green chair in the picture above (it needs to be re-upholstered, btw). This is when time slowed down. Oh, yeah, I was falling. I had time to think about falling, as well as time to contemplate Peyton Manning's overtime interception against the hated Ravens on Jan. 12; Beyonce's Halftime performance at the Super Bowl; the Super Bowl itself (Insightful commentary on the Super Bowl here), and many other things.
But what I wasn't able to do, was to stop myself from falling all the way out of the den and into the kitchen. All in slow motion. Against the little table, into the louvered doors that lead into the laundry room, against the door jamb that separates the den from the kitchen, and finally, the kitchen floor itself.
Newton's First Law of Motion says, essentially, that objects tend to keep on doing what they're doing (unless acted upon by an unbalanced force).
I was falling. I kept falling. I was the right side of the picture above. Inertia.
The entire left side of my body hurts, and my right shoulder is wrenched, BUT, I let Lynsie in and luckily wasn't carrying my coffee when I took my trip.
I hope you've enjoyed this little story. Have a safe rest of the weekend. Keep your toes in line, and your pajama bottoms pulled up.