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Monday, December 10, 2012

Frankenstein on the right

(This is another blog post that is completely meaningless, and really has no point)

I got out of the shower the other day and was looking at myself in the mirror while I shaved (sorry about the visual that is now seared into your cerebral cortex). I'd kind of forgotten, but I've got five scars on the right side of my body. One from when my kidney was removed, another from the gross tube put in me from when my kidney was removed. Another is from where my shoulder was nailed back together after I broke my collar bone and one from where they took a little of my hip and put it up in my shoulder, to help it heal. Most recently, I had a teeny bit of upper chest removed because of a melanoma that I had ignored (DON'T IGNORE DARK, IRREGULAR, SPREADING PLACES ON YOUR SKIN). It kinda grew in some, and spread some, and necessitated the doctor going (like the old church hymn) deep and wide. Don't worry, I won't Instagram any pictures.

Six! Six scars! I forgot that I have a very small scar on my nose (right nostril), where I had Mohs surgery (to remove some skin cancer there as well. "Welcome to Mohs").

Wait! When I was 18, a piece of steel spring broke off of the garage door I was working on and almost put my right eye out, instead cutting my head at the eyebrow line. Hang on, let me see if there is a scar there as well.........yep. There it is. Huh.

It just started me thinking about how odd it is that all my stuff has happened on my right side. Oh, I also broke all my wrist bones in a stupid motorcycle accident. My right wrist, of course.

Now, I'm left handed. I mean, I'm reeaally left handed. You should see me throw with my right hand. No, you shouldn't. Below is kind of what I look like throwing right handed (never mind that most of these are right hander's throwing left handed):

So, what's my point? Am I saying that stuff happens to my right side because I'm left handed? Am I saying that my left side is protecting itself, while my right side is just clumsy?

 Naah. I just wanted to talk about my scars.

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