I am a criminal
I committed an unlawful act! I ran into Starbucks today to get A CUP OF COFFEE, got stuck behind the fancy-shmancy coffee orderers for just a couple of minutes. When I got back to my car, maybe 5 minutes later, I had this parking ticket on my windshield, and a homeless looking guy with a portable ticket machine was slinking into the background (where he would presumably lie in wait for another unsuspecting yet hardened, parking meter scofflaw).
Then, as if that catastrophe wasn't bad enough, I went to Moe's to get a Homerwrecker in a bowl, with tofu and black beans, and THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY BLACK BEANS!!! (I knew I should have gone to Mojo Burrito's).
I know what you are thinking. "How could Ian's day possibly get any worse!?!" Well it did! On the way home, I was stuck behind an RV from
Texas. He was driving in the left lane, AND WOULDN'T MOVE
It's pretty much the worst day in history. I'm going to have to take some time to compose myself.
Please keep me in your thoughts.