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Tuesday, October 30, 2012

On doing things out of character

One night, in the fall of (I think) 1982, I was at a Knoxville bar, sitting in the back with a friend.  Coincidentally, the regular singer from the hotel bar I worked at (a different bar) had a gig there that week.  When he saw us, his eyes lit up and he excitedly moved the seats around so that we could sit in the very front, as his guests. We were a little embarrassed about the special treatment, and covered it up by joking around, poking fun at the guy.  He noticed and was hurt. We left soon after, ashamed and with our tails tucked between our legs. I felt rotten about it.  30 years later I still do. He wouldn't talk to us, and as a matter of fact, I've never spoken to him since.  It was a horrible, mean thing to do to someone.  I'm not a mean person. I'm an ok guy. I generally like myself. As a matter of fact, like Terrell Owens,  I love me some me (ok, maybe not to that extreme!)

My point is that it was something totally out of character for me. In being mean to that guy, I betrayed something inside of myself.  Part of my core belief system.  The betrayal to myself was almost worse than the hurt I inflicted on this guy, who was just so happy that people he knew had come down to see him!

Have you ever done something completely out of character and hurt someone? I tell you, it comes back and haunts you.

So, to anyone I've hurt - from the guy from the Sheraton Campus Inn in 1982, in Knoxville, Tennessee - and to anyone else, I apologize.

I'll keep working on being an Alright Guy

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