Good times

When I was about 5 or so, my family moved from Liverpool, England, to Duluth, Minnesota - 743d Selfridge Drive (I may have misspelled the name of the street. It was a long time ago).  My Dad was in the Air Force and we moved fairly regularly.

Having an English Mother, I was saddled with the name Ian (there's a good story about the mechanics of how I got my name - remind me to tell you later).  Now, the name Ian was not a common name in Minnesota in the mid 1960's and I suffered mightily for it. I used to run with some older kids - I think I was a first grader (at the Julius P. Barnes Elementary School, no less) and the older kids were second or even third graders.  We used to run around the court playing war.  At one point, we all had plastic GI Joe bazookas with red plastic rockets. We would pump air into the chamber and then shoot the rockets.

This is probably me and my gun:

Anyhow, being younger than the other kids, having an English accent and an English name, I would get picked on sometimes.  I remember one time after school a whole pack of us were running around the court playing war - yeah, back then you would go home from school and then run around - unsupervised - until supper time, when the Moms would yell from the kitchen. In my case, since we had been in Japan a couple of years prior to Duluth, my Mom would bang a gong that they had picked up over there.  Point being, we played until summoned for dinner.

Where was I?

Oh, yeah - so we were running around the court playing war, when one of the meaner third graders, (a budding poet, I guess), came up with the brilliant idea to start chasing me. The other kids joined in and they chased me around the neighborhood, shooting red plastic rockets at me, all the while chanting "Let's PEE-on Eee-on".  This amused them to no end and really had no detrimental effect on me (except that I still remember it 47 years later. Hmm).

Ahh, good times.

Another time, I'll tell you about how we would run behind the DDT trucks every Friday and play in the pesticide fog. Minnesota mosquitoes are honkin' big!

Potpourri

Regarding the news:

I don't care about Jodi Arias.  I'm sorry that her ex was murdered, but I don't know why we are so captivated by all of the details of her trial.

CNN, how far you have fallen since I used to run to you to find out what was going on in the world.

Oh, and this disgusting woman, Nancy Grace...well, that was my whole comment about her.
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 Let's move on to the next sensational thing. Speaking of which....I'm glad I live in Cleveland, TN, not Cleveland, Ohio..

But you have to love Charles Ramsey.  The guy who saved Amanda Berry (one of the three kidnapped women who had been held captive for 10 years!  How can a person do that to another human?  The kidnapper, not Mr. Ramsey).  Charles Ramsey appears to be a funny, caring person - I think he was very aware that he was on the national stage, and knew he was funny.  Watch this autotuned clip of his interview,  (also, watch the reaction of the bald guy to Mr. Ramsey's right):

 Dead Giveaway   
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What do you guys think about the controversy over where to bury Boston Bomber Tamerlan Tsarnaev? As you might imagine, the people of Boston didn't want his remains to be buried in their city. I bet his grave would have been quickly defaced if he had been buried there.  Looks like he has been buried though, in an undisclosed location.

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Oh, did you notice that while the entire country was keyed in on the Boston Marathon bombing, something happened in West, Texas?  The news networks barely mentioned it, instead camping out in Massachusetts  hoping to catch a shootout on live TV.

I guess this is what happens when you've got several 24 hour news organizations trying to hold on to our short attentions.

Gore Vidal, Rutherford B. Hayes, and Henry VIII

I learned more about 19th Century US history by reading Gore Vidal novels than I ever did in any history class.  Granted, I spent 5 years in the English school system, so I can probably tell you a few things about the Monarchy that I learned while at Cangle County Primary School, in Haverhill, England. During that time, I didn't learn any American history, nor did I learn how to play basketball (much to the chagrin of Coach Lou Underdown, later while at Arnold Junior High School), baseball, or American football.

Anyhow, several years ago, I picked up Gore Vidal's book "1876" - which is an historical novel set in, you guessed it, 1876.  The backdrop to it all is the presidential election of 1876, between Samuel Tilden and Rutherford B. Hayes (my favorite, useless, President). Tilden won the popular vote, but Hayes wound up winning the Electoral College, and thus the Presidency, after Florida's (and Louisiana's and South Carolina's and Oregon's) leaders initially declared Tilden the winner of the State, only later to change it to Hayes.

WHOA, that sounds familiar!!!

So, this led to the "Compromise of 1877" , effectively the end of Reconstruction, and four years of a useless Presidency (WHOA, that soun..... - never mind).

Not trying to bore you with useless facts, instead I'm just saying that I love learning history when it is set out in an interesting way, the way Gore Vidal did when he wrote those types of novels.  Sure there was a fictional story in the forefront, but the historical facts he wrote about were accurate.

BUT THAT'S NOT REALLY WHAT THIS POST IS ABOUT

My wife and I have been watching "The Tudors" lately - we are almost finished with season one.  Looks like it is going to end with Henry VIII's divorce from Catherine of Aragon, and his marriage to Anne Boleyn (apparent harlot). Also, he was craaaazzzyy, and a horndog.

It's pretty interesting, but some of the historical facts didn't ring any bells with me. So, I did some reading, and am finding that a bunch of the facts relating to ACTUAL HISTORICAL FIGURES are pure, made up crap.  I guess they are just used to make the series more exciting?  I don't mind them playing loose with a little obscure history, but they are making up relatives of Henry who didn't exist, historical marriages that never happened, and events that never took place - relatively important events.

I think Gore Vidal would be shaking his head. "smh" is what he would tweet, probably followed by "lol".

Sorry, no refunds on the time spent reading this.

Me, Robert Earl Keen and a Marathon

Click on this link to hear one of my favorite songs of all time:

Feelin' Good Again

by Robert Earl Keen


It's such an evocative, positive song. Have you ever had one of those times when, for just a brief moment, all is right in the world?  That is how this song makes me feel.

I'm not a very good runner.  As a matter of fact, I'm a pretty poor runner. I find the marathon distance to be quite a challenge, but I persevere.  I was running a marathon in 2008, and, as usual, at about mile 21 or so I started to fade pretty rapidly. At that point in a marathon, the race becomes more of a gut check than anything else.  At least for me it does - It's been said that the marathon consists of two halves, the first 20 miles, followed by the last 6.2 miles.

ANYHOW...

...there I am, Mile 21, supremely aware of my aching feet and my profound lack of natural talent.  I whipped out my handy iPod, reserved for just this situation.  Well, Feelin' Good Again was on, and somehow I had my iPod set on repeat, so I listened to this song continuously from mile 21 through mile 24.  At my pace, that had to have been between 3,000 and 4,000 times.  But it took me away.  Took my mind off of my soreness and I kind of floated through those toughest of all marathon miles.  And that's what needs to happen, beyond all the training. For a runner like myself, the last half of a marathon is as much mind over matter as anything else.

So, thanks, Robert Earl Keen for helping me finish my 7th marathon.

You guys, listen to this song.  It is great.  Here's the link again, so you can listen to it again

Parking Wars - Chattanooga style

NOTE:  I WILL BE GRIPING IN THIS POST.

Interesting, I looked up the definition of gripe, and found that one definition is "To have sharp pains in the bowels."  Huh, that's not the kind of griping I meant.

I haven't even started this post, and already I'VE DIGRESSED!

Do you remember a few weeks ago when I got a parking ticket?  Of course you do, because you hang on my every word, don't you?  Just in case you don't, here is a shameless link to get you to read that post (oh, and one before that) - you know, to boost my readership up to 7 or 8 people.

Last Ticket:  Repeat Offender

The one before that:  The Worst Day Ever - (should that be, "The Worst Day, Ever"? Damn those tricky commas.)

In the meantime, My youngest daughter got one, again just running into a store for a minute.

OK, cool, we didn't feed the meter for the three minute coffee dash, and I overstayed my meter at lunch.  Whatever.  Here's the deal, though:  The City of Chattanooga, a city that depends HEAVILY on tourism, has farmed out its parking enforcement to Republic Parking - a for profit company that has a vested interest in making as much money as possible - presumably, their contract rewards them for writing lots of tickets.

The result of this contract is that Republic now has millions (yes, actually millions) of parking attendants with portable ticket writing machines on their backs.  Some of the attendants have on uniforms, some are in plain clothes. I'm not sure, but I'd bet that some of them are hiding in trash cans, dressed as trees, covered by Cloaks of Invisibility - all to make sure that they pounce as soon as that meter expires.

Look, Mom all my readers.  I'm not suggesting that they neglect their jobs.  What I am suggesting is that they maybe give the people who are parking, spending money, buying stuff, contributing to the coffers of the City, a teeny-tiny break.  Or else, you know what?  People might think twice about coming to downtown - ask yourself what the reasons are for people not going to Redbank?  Could it be that the city government there made going into Redbank an unpleasant adventure, liable to cost you money, as you unwittingly broke laws while simply driving down the road (redlightcamerasredlightcamerasredlightcameras)?

Point is, oh government, what are you trying to achieve?  Do you want to penalize the crap out of someone who has overstayed the meter by a couple of minutes, or are you trying to keep people from leaving their cars on side-of-the-road parking places for hour after hour (which is where the parking issue lies)?

If the former - then keep doing as you are doing - if the latter, I suggest you maybe ease up. Just a little.

April 22, 2013 - Reset Day

I think that people pick January 1 of each year to start on their resolutions, because January 1 is such an obvious beginning point.  There is no real reason, other than psychological, to pick that day over another to start a personal makeover.  I mean, it could be any other day and if the "resolutions" are continued, the effect will be the same in the long run..

(It is always amusing to go to the gym during the first couple of weeks of the year and see people furiously working out, only to watch them drop off as the month goes by - I'm not criticizing these folks at all - I'm pulling for them, in fact.)

When I was young, I would always look forward to the first day of school, in part because everything was fresh.  New clothes, clean slate, teachers who didn't have opinions of me based on the previous year's antics.  That sort of thing.

Which brings me to my point:  Every year, after tax season (I'm a CPA, if you didn't know), I take a week off to clear my head - you'd  be amazed at how incapable of holding a conversation I become after working seven days a week - up to fifteen hours a day - for almost three months. The goal is to come back after a week off with a clear mind and cheerful disposition.

I went all the way to Chattanooga last week (30 miles), and holed up at the Marriott Courtyard downtown (why don't you have coffee in the lobby anymore?).  Guess what?  I also took my business email off of my phone, so that I wouldn't be tempted to respond to client emails on April 16 - I love you, Oh Clients, I really, really do, but I'm not able to talk to you on that day.

So, here we are. April 22.  Earth Day.  For me though, it is Reset Day.  It is my first day of school.  The slate is clean, and my mind is right, to paraphrase The Captain in Cool Hand Luke (one of the best movies ever, beeteedubs).  I came in to the office this morning, ready to dive in.  Personally, I'm also ready to dive in.  Time to get back into shape.  Tax season, and the desk sitting that follows, coupled with the lack of time, energy and motivation to exercise, take their toll on my body.

(Artists depiction of me on April 14)

Thanks for reading.  Carry on.

It's that time of year...

...when all around me are playing.



The sun is shining, the birds are chirping...

...and I'm inside working on your tax return

Not actually me.

But in 9 days, I'll be joining you.

This is actually me

Please don't forget me.